Bunstan McFunkstan

Kev told me ...

www.bebo.com/bunstanmcfunkstan

...that one of his pals has my space boy video on his phone and he watches it over and over and over, he just wishes it was longer kind of thing - so I'll have to attend to this space Boy fella and write his character a bit more, get him some one liners and stuffs, some catchphrases, so he can rap about the technological invasion of the human body with technological aids - robot arms, Wireless ID pads under the skin, memory aids, forms of artificial intelligence, perhaps Ooh i know this might sound like rambling, ramble here, ramble there, but it's all part of a masterplan...

DIana K Brown & The DianaMetrics - Masterplan.mp3

Recently I became a comedy promoter, aswell as, just your average run of the mill comedian. And it occurs that comedians hate promoters, and generally i'm picking up a lot of disdain for comedians from the promoters camp as well.

However, I can't claim to be alone in my convern, as most other promoters are also comedians, so they can languish in the self-satisfaction that they are seeing the feud with the benefit of seeing it from both sides. Not true. However, I am wondering if being used to this ambidextrousness myself, will make me any better or worse a promoter or comedian. I don't want to sell my sould obviously but there are a lot more sharks in the promoter pool, as it were, than the comedian pool.

That said I did once get graffitied backstage at the Stand for being "An AIDS ridden shit as fuck cunt"

which was illuminating, but I took delight in the fact the guy was so angry he just felt threatened and that's why it was so harsh, they maybe felt threatened, it's a small pool.

Anyways, so as for malice, and evil, they're fairly equal-standing.

I'll get you a picture of the graffiti, just a sec...

My name is Bunstan McFunkstan
You want a piece with me
I'm having a piece and bacon
You want a piece with me
I'm also having red sauce on
You want a piece with me
And maybe a totty scone
You want a piece with me?

I've been the Prince of Dalmuir
since 1984
No matter when I step on the scene,
They be take pictures in frickin magazines,
You still wantin pictures of my derriere
in your faces laydees
Cause you want a piece with me

Tonight I'm pissed

I'm so druk I am starting this with a disclaimer

What ever I write next is definitely going to contaion typos
and is almost certain t consist iunb the main of drivel of the highest order

Tyhe thing is, tonight I came up with the idea of doing something about an idea I had 10 years ago. The wicked idea in question was, and it's complicated so you're going to have to pay attention here...

the original idea was to make a company that provides themed holidays.

The theme is "Withnail and I". If you haven't seen the film, this post won't make any sense to you, look it up and watch it, it'll change your life.

But, if you have seen it, and loved it, read on, imagine a holiday camp where you could act out your Withanil and I fantasies.

For example, I no longer participate, but did in my youth enjoy visiting the proverbial den of iniquity that is hedonism.

I partook, shall we say, of many of society's vices and have lived to tell the tale.

I therefore feel qualified to say, that they do open up new pathways in your brain, new ways of thinking, and for the artistically inclined, an endless source of inspiration.

However they come at at a cost...

I meander so...

anyway, I imagine people would pay to go on such a holiday, oytherwise folk wouldn't go to Amsterdam or Christiania where these things are legal.

I imagine I would pay to go on such a holiday and have adventures and spend two weeks laughing my ballsockets off.

It would be fun. I have spent ten years thinking abouyt this though, you have to understand, so I have developed and develeoped the idea and thought about it in such great detail that I think I could build it, BUT I would be inmsane to try because of course I would have to be insane because you could never insure something like that,

come on

and all the rest

I mean it would be impossible to get a bonak to give you a loan for something like that - you'd have to get the mob to give you the money. and that would mean a whole world of trouble.

to be continued

(I'm drunk remember)

I have consolidated my sprawling credit card collection

It has given me a 3000 pound breathing space

I have to buy some stuff ( I know this sounds juvenile, but underneath it all these are genuine, very considered utilitarian purchases )

1 Video Camera
2 Microphone Stand
3 Microphone ( broadcast standard not a pound-shop job )
4 Wireless Router
5 Planet Terror DVD ( watched it last night twice in a row, then with commentary, then ALL the special features - there is a second DVD just with special features on ) nerdy isn't it, but my girlfriend is doing her dissertation so it was me and a bottle of Jameson's and my whim, the three of us decided unanimously.
6 Directional Electro-Magnetic Pulse device to kill other people's Ipods/Mp3 players for inconsiderate use on trains or for playing DJ Rankin

NB No.6 doesn't exist

7 Underground lair and team of teenage whizzkid hackers with which to develop No 6

Oh today is day job back to reality, in the week I am a suit.

It is only at the weekends and sporadic gigs that I parade around in my Plastic Mac and a Speedo, source of all my powers, there for all to see.

Last night was Surf Reality, we launched it, it proceeded chaotically in places, to it's ultimate conclusion of intoxicated deliria, amongst a crowd of forty odd folk, mostly comedians, to be fair, mostly, but we made £26.00 quid on the door so that was nice. Finally watchng all those teenage sitcoms have paid off, and I am a nightclub promoter all of a sudden. Well comedy club, that is at night.

We are going to devise a system of giving performers waves, as in the number of waves they caught, so that it will be some kind of an informative review, giving feedback as honestly and fairly as possible, otherwise all credibilty is lost after all.

We also have to proffer up a legal disclaimer and email it to cover the Video Recordings.

So, I'll edit this list but

Surfers on the night included:

Hi folks, finally finished cropped etc onto my bloawg

Important Comedy Announcement

Press Release : Surf Reality Launches – Sunday Mar 2nd 2008

At The Universal Bar,

Sauchiehall Lane, Glasgow

Doors open 8 till late

The night is run by the two comperes

Bunstan McFunkstan and Kevin Sweeney

And describes itself as an open mic night

with a difference.

When the night first got announced on the

Scottish Comedy Forum, (www.scottishcomedyforum.couk)

there was outcry amongst the comedy

community, all of which is available to read

on the forum, and hilarious it is too, if you

think your kids are badly behaved, try a

few hundred comedians and free speech.

Veteran comedians in the hierarchy of the

Community advised younger acts to boycott,

And the event was seriously under threat.

Sanity was restored however, when the issue

of asking performers to collaborate in a profit

share basis was resolved to everyone’s glorious satisfaction...

The Surf Reality team then launched itself

as the enfant terrible of the Scottish comedy scene

with a rather cheeky video with the soundtrack

“You hate it don’t you” click here to view:

Oh and tell me what you thnk of it, that's the point ; )

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=b9D54ix2xdE